Kitchen Rat: If you don't ask...; Pizza party prince

I'm just popping in a request for a path of Stichelton leading to the local dairy to surprise my ratty partner.

Pizza party prince

For a restaurant group founded in 1965, PizzaExpress has spent a shocking amount of 2019 trending. First when rumours of its demise led to outcry of affection and, secondly, on Saturday evening when its Woking branch unwittingly became a royal alibi.

Prince Andrew told the BBC's Emily Maitlis he could not have been dancing in a London nightclub with a 17-year-old woman on a particular date 18 years ago as he had taken his daughter for a memorable meal at the branch.

Cue a barrage of reviews, tweets and memes, including: "Overall, I had a fantastic meal and would recommend. Why go anywhere else (ie, Tramp in London) when you could go here and be treated like royalty by the fantastic staff?"

Cheesed off

I popped my nose up at several picket lines last week to join the hospitality workers taking part in protests as part of Living Wage Week. On Tuesday I was almost washed down a Whitehall drain after joining the small group of McDonald's workers who braved an epic downpour to demand £15 an hour, and the following day dropped by two Premier Inn hotels, where, to be honest, demonstrations didn't quite live up to the hype.

Nevertheless this rat returned to the office, placard in hand, still sodden from its work, to demand four crackers a day and an upgrade from Asda Cheddar to aged Comté. I await management's response.